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Faded Focus, Lack of Vigor, and My Helper

As you know, Mariah and I have 3 boys, Madden, Miles, and Max. Max is our 3rd child. He is 4 years old. Unfortunately for him, he is our 3rd child and you know what that means. He is at risk of being overlooked and unnoticed. Last night, we experienced a good example of the problems that can happen with the 3rd child.

I went to bed about 11:30pm and planned to wake up at 4:30am. This is a typical night sleep for me. However, last night ended up transpiring a little differently than normal.

Max, our 4-year-old, came in our room crying around 1:15am. Mariah consoled him and told him to climb in our bed. He did without any hesitation. He stopped crying but tossed and turned for the next hour.

Around 2:15am, I asked him if he wanted to go back to his bed. Half asleep we went back to his bed. When we got to his room, he mumbled something which I still have yet to figure out. He got up and kept mumbling whatever it was he was trying to say. I turned every light on to try to get an understanding – I have no idea how the lights were remotely helpful and it turned out they weren’t. I finally just said ok because I thought he was asking me a question. He went to get a drink of water.

When he came back to his bed, he finally fell asleep around 3am and I went back to my bed. I slept for about an hour. Around 4am, Max came back into our room and climbed in our bed. I laid there thinking what in the world is wrong with him tonight. However, since he is the 3rd child, I mentally minimized any potential problem. I was tired.

Mariah and I finally woke up and starting getting ready for work. Before MAx woke up, I asked Mariah what she thought he woke up so much. Jokingly, she said, “who knows, he will probably wake up with blood all over him.” I left for work before Max woke up and on my way Mariah called me. She said, “don’t get worried, everything is ok. I was right Max cut his head last night and it appears the wound needs to be sutured.” This is the picture she sent me.

Mariah felt like he needed stitches and I had a hard time determining for myself based on the picture she sent me. I honestly thought to myself – it doesn’t look so bad. However, I could tell she wanted a more professional answer and wanted some help. So, I encouraged her to take him to see the pediatrician. She did and he agreed it needed to be closed. They debated on using sutures or glue. They decided to use glue.

I got up with Max in the middle of the night, had every light on in his room, had ample opportunity to assess what was going on, and still didn’t think it was that bad after seeing his face in the first picture she sent me. Why did I miss this? Am I just getting tired or are they wearing me down? Would I have missed this with Madden or Miles?

I do believe my mind has faded, I have lost focus, and I have lost my vigor. Hopefully, I will  use this as an example and not allow my focus to further fade or my vigor to further diminish as a parent. Hopefully, I will be strong and not let them wear me down any further. They need me and depend on me. Thank God I have a helper. Thank goodness for Mariah’s maternal instinct, because without it I may have never even noticed. We really do need her for our safety.


One thought on “Faded Focus, Lack of Vigor, and My Helper

  1. Oh Michael. I can honestly say I know how you feel. My daughter showed me her hand stand and fell over during the process. She went to bed and the next day said her shoulder hurt. With a kiss and hug she went to school. Her teacher called and told me she felt her collarbone might be broken. She was right it was. Aauugghh. How embarrassing. And Whitney is my first one. We all want to do the best for our kids- I did feel bad-but she was fine. I have had several “rescues” since then- even now into her adulthood. One never stops being a parent..ever.

    Liked by 1 person

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