Posted in Being a Dad

If you want to lead, you have to follow first

If you want to lead, you have to follow first. What does this really mean? I really want to know because I want to be a leader. I want to be a great leader. I especially want to be a leader for my family.

If I understand correctly, and if I want to be the leader of my family, I have to first learn to follow my family. I am trying hard to follow them, but not sure how well I am doing. I feel like I follow them everywhere. I feel like I am constantly following. Please understand, I am not complaining – well, not completely.

I follow Mariah:

  • because I have no idea what I am doing
  • where ever she tells me to go
  • to make sure I am doing what I need to do
  • to ensure I am being a good husband
  • to ensure I am being a good parent

Sort of makes me seem like a lost puppy without her. Well, I will share the events that took place while she was out of town at a later time.

I follow my boys:

  • to keep them safe (they have no fear and can be dangerous)
  • to make sure they don’t fall (I often wonder how they even learned to walk)
  • to make sure they don’t run out into the street in front of a car (they think they are invincible)
  • To make sure they don’t get hurt jumping in the swimming pool (ie, Max decided to jump in the pool at the corner and rather than jumping in he pool he wanted to jump from one side to the other. If I had not been there, he would have hit his head on the concrete rather than jumping in the pool).
  • to make sure they don’t fight (there is at least one a day)
  • to make sure they aren’t disrespectful (I don’t think they understand boundaries)
  • to pick up their toys
  • to make sure they don’t lose Maggie (Max likes to let her off the leash when we go on walks. He probably just likes to watch me chase her).
  • to pick up their dirty clothes (and yes they stink)
  • to pick up their trash (they are filthy animals)
  • to sweep the floor behind them (Sometimes I wonder if they get any food in their mouth)
  • to tell them to take a bath (it is a battle every night)
  • to tell them to brush their teeth
  • to tell them to put on their shoes (it isn’t uncommon to arrive somewhere like school I find out one of them dorgot to put on shoes)
  • to tell them to go to the restroom before we get in the car (we had to pull over last night before we made it across town to our destination)
  • to tell them to get into the car (otherwise we would never get anywhere)

I am exhausted from just writing that list. You should be able to see that I do quite a bit of following. I am learning a lot and I really don’t mind. I do wonder how Mariah feels. She has to follow all of us.

I want to be the leader of my family. How much more following do I have to do? I guess the more I think about it, the more I realize that I will be following forever. I will be following for the rest of my life. The real truth is that I am fine with that – I am fine with following. It makes me happy to be with them. It brings me joy to know that Mariah is happy. It brings me joy to watch Madden, Miles, and Max experience life – to learn, grow, and develop. I just hope I can keep up.



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